The Trouble With Leaving

The Trouble With Leaving

The trouble with leaving a place that I call home, at least for me, is that I've got to go back, eventually. And while the leaving was super easy, well, the coming back has been anything but smooth. I'm now back to Berlin after an amazing visit from my parents in Berlin, a trip to the States complete with spending time with extended family, a visit to the Florida coast, and a quick getaway to the N.C. mountains.

After the high of the summer trips and spending time with family, plopping myself back here in the place where I have worked so hard to make our home hasn't been as seamless as I anticipated. In fact, I seem to have gotten out of rhythm, lost my "groove", or whatever you want to call it. I experienced almost the same feelings as when we arrived last August of even dreading to leave the safe haven of our apartment and having to fight to communicate and learn my way around again. I've also thrown a frantic apartment search in the mix since we'll be moving across the city so Bucker can start kindergarten on Friday (more on this later). So, the re-adjustment, and the upcoming move and my oldest son starting kindergarten here at the ripe old age of *4* has had me reeling, and gasping for air. I've never been a person who struggled with depression, but the way I've felt over the past three weeks must be close to what people mean when they say they're "down". Little by little, however, I'm getting back into a better place, and the other day I woke up with a mission. I'm going to have to grow my thick skin back and learn to cope better with losing the "perfect" apartment prospect over and over, being told "no" just because my German isn't what it needs to be, and with the upcoming move and school changes. I am determined to change.

And so I did what any self-respecting child of the 80's would do in a pinch: I cranked up the big hair music. I got a little trigger happy with my eco-friendly non-aerosol organic hair spray (Rave, where are you when I need you??) and I let the music work its magic. Somewhere between Skid Row's "I Remember You" and Def Leppard's "Pour Some Sugar on Me", I started to feel like my old self again, and I think I'm finally on the road to getting back into the groove here.

I've narrowed the apartment search down to two or three places, we've met Bucker's teacher, who seems to be a perfect fit, and I'm reconciling myself to the fact that I'll need to start packing soon. But that's OK, because I'm looking forward to another challenge, another new adventure, and another milestone to mark in my son's life. I'm back on the blog, and boy do I have some catching up to do and some stories to tell. Thanks for your patience, and for keeping up with us. More to come soon...